i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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