I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
