I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
