How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
