dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
