When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize