Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
