Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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