Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Never let your siblings swipe right.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
