he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize