Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
