The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
