This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
