He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize