well I can't set my house on fire every night
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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