No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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