Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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