How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
