For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
