she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
