Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
false alarm. still invincible.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize