some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
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