Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
