i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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