and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
