so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
