He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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