A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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