So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
