I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Randomize
