last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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