I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
