so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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