dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
