To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
