he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
