Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
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