sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
