Someone shit on the floor
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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