Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
