You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
if i can run in heels then i can drive
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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