sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I need to sanitize my soul.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
