Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
