Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
