You were right. It hurts to walk today.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
