I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
