had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
