My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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