Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Randomize
