Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
