how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
