I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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