I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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