this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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