nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
