does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
