belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
