Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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