Rock
Scissors
Fuck
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
