6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize
