road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
