Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
