Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
