why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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