Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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