ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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