I feel like I'm in dance class right now
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
my poor anus
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
