i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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